Alexandra Petre

6 Months Later: Reflecting on my exchange

To continue to discover new lands, one must time and time again, leave firm ground. Coming to Queen’s, a place I now consider home, was a milestone in a period of personal, academic and professional growth. Living and working abroad, however, was the braver decision. Following a strong impulse for adventure, looking to learn in new and exciting ways required more strength, passion and determination than any decision previously taken. However, not for a moment did I regret my choice, because for some of us, the journey in itself is home. I don’t want to tell you about how this was my first time abroad, nor praise it for having changed my outlook on the world. I want to tell you about how my experience in Singapore consolidated a relentless dedication to explore faraway places and cultures.

If you’re anything like me, you want to collect moments as opposed to things. You want to observe dynamics changing, patterns of behaviour and last but not least, you want to observe yourself – in different contexts and spaces, allow yourself to be surprised in ways you didn’t think are possible. The lens which colours your life on exchange is responsible for a distinct worldview. The patience of someone who is not, for once, rushing to get from class to club meeting to volunteering to work, complemented by curiosity, uncovers a new student.  A student of people, of stories and languages. It is with those eyes that every time I arrive back to where I started, I know the place for the very first time.

Living and studying abroad – which I was so incredibly lucky to be able to do in Singapore, and working at the Asia Research Institute, were by far one of the more challenging and humbling experiences of my life. They taught me to observe before acting, and double-check my instincts. As a history and political science student in Singapore, categorized to be a soft-authoritarian state, I was soon categorized to be a “know-all Westerner, critical of state planning and of tough-on-crime governmental attitude”.  There were tutorials in which I was the only person to openly criticize a state policy. I never thought there can be social repercussions to the critical thinking skills I valued so much. Sometimes, it was easier to be critical than constructive. I had unknowingly become a stereotype. Along the way however, I realized how many more ways of learning are open to us and how to change my frame of reference when I’m asked to analyse information. I began to be able to carry my point across without perpetuating the myths I was so sceptical of myself. Stepping outside of the boxes created for us and by us, I found a flexible mindset, willing to adapt rather than convince, willing to listen rather than talk. I hope that attitude will never change.

How to remember and share your travels

You’re lucky. You had the opportunity to travel, to see a new culture from the inside. Regardless of how your experience actually unravelled, you were one of the few that had a unique chance to live somewhere new, to meet new people and ultimately, to accumulate a lot of knowledge about a topic previously new to you. But what is the point of this knowledge? How are you supposed to store it, share it, use it, apply it?

Perhaps one of the biggest challenges of travellers, of digital nomads and of those who adopt travelling as a lifestyle is that of sharing content, of sharing insights and impressions, of sharing a story about the effect of a journey. When you’re on the road, you feel as if you’re going to remember every single detail, every smell and every flavour, and you will have the perfect words to describe it to your friends or loved ones. However, this might not be the case. As new experiences go, travelling is definitely an overload, a layering of novel sensations and perceptions, and can be overwhelming. Remembering it in detail is thus naturally, even more overwhelming.

In my view, the most important aspect a story needs is detail – passionate, accurate and lively detail. So what can you do to be able to remember?

• Write it down. It is impossible to stress this enough. Whether it is in the form of a paper journal, an online blog, a series of pictures on which you write on, buying postcards from every place you visit and jotting down some remarks – whatever it is that works for you, find it and do it. While it might sound tedious, and you might feel like you don’t have enough time to do so, you won’t regret it once your experience is over. These little paragraphs ( not necessarily coherent or grammatically correct – although points to you if you are able to write poetry after a day of walking around!) will jot your memory like nothing else, and bring your experience to life whenever you feel like taking a stroll down memory lane.
• Get souvenirs. And here, I don’t mean buying something from the over-priced, tourist-fabricated little shop at the end of the road. I mean getting a sea shell from a beach ( granted you’ve checked and you’re allowed to transport it over the border), a rock, a leaf, anything that will prove to be a visual aid when trying to re-create a landscape or a scenery. Whether you want to keep a couple of beer labels or you want to take back a piece of a banana tree leaf is your choice, but you’ll remember it fondly.
• Talk to people. You’ll find out so much more this way. Of course, make sure first that you are in a safe environment. Don’t approach strangers unless you are absolutely sure you will be safe doing so. But once you do, you are bound to find tidbits of history, local intrigue and opinions that are unlikely to be forgotten. One cab-driver in Malaysia was able to recount the entire history of the rubber industry of his country during a 45 minute cab ride to the air-port. I still remember what he told us.
• Make sure you take the time to look around. Perhaps this sounds superfluous, or even silly. But I promise you it’s not. Taking the time to really observe some of the social dynamics around you will lead you to ask lots of questions, feeding your curiosity.

How to share once you’re back is just as tricky. A lot of the time, I found that friends and family will have their own set of expectations about what your time abroad consisted of. Sometimes, it can go something like this:

“Oh my gosh, you must have had such an amazing time in Singapore”

“Well…yes, it was really fun, but it was not always fun and there were a lot of things that were challenging”

By no means does this imply that the person travelling is not grateful for the opportunity given. It does not mean they did not learn from it, and it does not mean they do not appreciate the chance they had to travel. But experiences are never completely one sided, so in order to fully capture the complexity of time spent away, one will have to share both positive and negative.

Happy travels!

Do you have the travel bug? What does that mean for you?

“The travel bug”: one of those idioms that has slowly entered our lexicon without much thought or analysis. Its popularity, however, seems to be soaring, especially among digital nomads, students and youth, as well as the adventurous.

Where does the travel bug come from and what exactly is it though? How is this different from a passion for adventure?

Where to?

In my view, the travel bug can mean a variety of things. It can be taking a year off between your steps in an academic career, a break between employment, time to learn a new skill or language, the desire to know different cultures, people and customs, or simply the desire to leave behind everything you know for the open road.

This is however, not a new concept. Literature and history alike inform us of men and women who have travelled continents and oceans in order to do the exact same. Their desire to know more of the world, to explore and gain knowledge led them to be explorers, researchers, intellectuals and thinkers. But they had no time limit on their travels. They did not need to fit their lives into any particular mould, and in most cases, they continued travelling, or in fact, never returned to their original location. These are not the people we imagine when we think about the concept of the travel bug. Instead, we call them migrants, and we do not see their journeys as motivated by the same motif as those who ascribe to the travel bug syndrome.

One possible definition for this spirit of adventure, in the words of Che Guevara: ( cliche, I realize, but I just recently watched The Motorcycle Diaries)  

What we had in common – our restlessness, our impassioned spirits, and a love for the open road. 

What used to be a state of mind, a conception of the world and the way you want to engage with it, has been transformed into a syndrome, a condition that one can simply deal with, and be over with soon after. The meaning of adventure has been concentrated and simplified into this idea of a travel bug, which not only minimizes its scope but downplays its impact as well. Whereas travelling for the sake of travelling, for the pursuit of knowledge and learning, used to be a goal into itself, the way in which our society conceptualizes of the travel bug is as a defined, short period of time in which one has to tackle one’s sense of restlessness and more often than not, attempt to get it ouf of one’s system. The travel bug, a seemingly harmless ideas, has a more complex undertone than we think, and speaks of larger societal misconceptions about those unable or unwilling to settle down, to become responsible members of society, to contribute in one particular way. The desire to adventure has become an ill of society, a sign that one is unable to function in a certain prescribed way, and the travel bug scenario has become the patchy, band-aid solution to it. Those who refuse or simply cannot give up their desire to continue travelling are labelled as nomads, unfit to receive the same benefits from the state as those who contribute on a regular basis.

Why have we abandoned the appreciation we once had for those restless enough and passionate enough as to explore the farthest corners of the planet, the most remote areas of civilization? Why do we box in experiences in such a way as to remove their originality and potential for unique characteristics? The travel bug, in my view, is just another expression of this attempt to take an experience that was once organic, natural and valued, and replace it with a pre-determined itinerary.

Half a world apart

Of course this topic would come up. Long distance relationships. Because let’s face it, more often than not, we are forced into having one of the most dreaded conversations a relationship could trigger.

“Well, I really want to go on exchange…”

“That’s great!…But what about…?

You probably dread this conversation as much as I did. Or if you’ve already had it, you understand why it has an aura of both mystery and fear from most couples. The temptation of commitment versus the alleged freedom can be a very tricky choice, and in the short term, feel like a burden on your excitement.

I am not an advocate of either verdict. I have tried both, with varying results. What I do want to write about briefly today, however, are the types of questions and considerations you should give some thought to before jumping on any side of this conondrum.

“Let’s stick it out” – case involves:

• Expectation setting – If you and your partner decide to continue dating while apart, you should consider having a fairly serious conversation about expectation setting. How much should you communicate? What is the preferred method of communication? What are the costs involved, and how will you deal with that? What is expected of you to communicate – how much detail, how much excitement? This might seem like a fairly uni-lateral discussion of needs, but remember that the partner to remain in the initial location will have preferences as well – a case that often happens is in fact, jealousy. If you overshare details about your amazing time on exchange or travelling, the other person might experience loneliness, signs of wanderlust, and even become displeased or bored with their surroundings due to their constant exposure to new places and cultures through their communication with you.
• Emergency/crisis scenario – While every relationship is different, it is most likely the case that when together, you know when you’re needed by your partner, for emotional support or even just for your presence. However, being able to maintain this level of intimacy might prove to be difficult when away. Establishing a policy of open communication, establishing certain signals perhaps to make sure the other person understands your needs at a specific time, are very important. You cannot expect Instant Messaging to do the trick every time, and more than often, any online form of communication, even a choppy and pixeled Skype call, can fail to deliver tone, sarcasm or emotion. You might be forced to learn new ways to acknowledge the emotional state of your partner, and this is something  you have to work together towards.
• How to explain your choice – While not immediately obvious as something you should go over, this is essential for both of you. A lot of people will find it appropriate to question your decision, label it as something else – “Oh, you’re still together, but the relationship is on the back burner, right?” or even encourage one of you to act unlike yourselves. Make sure both of you have a solid understanding of your reasoning to stay together, and can deal with criticism when necessary. More often than not, it’s also essential to be able to justify the decision to yourself. While on exchange, I witnessed a lot of couples breaking up, and a lot more couples having a very hard time in their long-distance relationship, so you need to be certain of your reasons to stay together.
• Review – Establish a time to re-evaluate your decision. Perhaps a mid-point, or even 2 separate points during your time apart, make sure to create a space for feedback. Although in most cases this happens naturally, there might be issues that are harder to bring up, so opening up a space in which both of you can offer suggestions to each other will benefit you more than you think. This is probably the time for things like “I’ve been feeling like we haven’t talked about [...] for a while” or “You seem to always be rushing out, let me know if there’s a better time when I can catch you while more relaxed” and so on.

You are not a gypsy

A very popular term in a lot of travel communities is gypsy. The romanticized and even idealized concept of gypsy involves a nomadic lifestyle, few material possessions and perhaps most importantly, a free spirit. A concept tempting to a young, seemingly unattached student, correct? While there is nothing wrong with ascribing to any of the above, it is however a misnomer to call oneself a gypsy.

Why? Let’s look at the definition of the term:

Gypsy: A member of a traveling people with dark skin and hair who speak Romany and traditionally live by seasonal work, itinerant trade, and fortune-telling. Gypsies are believed to have originated in the Indian subcontinent.

I doubt many backpackers and digital nomads earn their living from seasonal work and fortune-telling, and I also doubt any of them speak Romany. If I am wrong, please do tell me so. While in a digitized, globalized world is it quite easy for one to do contract work or freelance writing independent of location, this is not what the seasonal work of most Roma people ( Roma is the politically correct term for Gypsies).

Most Roma people live in South and Eastern Europe as illegal and undocumented immigrants. The Roma have a rich history and a set of unique cultural and religious practices. In fact, they are ruled by a King, their own legal system called the Romani Code, as well as internal institutions which are responsible for enforcing these laws and regulations.They are often intentionally excluded from any form of community participation. The Roma are discriminated against in countries where their communities are sizeable. Ethnic cleansing groups in Hungary are known to terrorize and attempt to drive out the Roma people living on the outskirts of their villages. More information can be found here about the Hungarian case: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-13206261

The Roma have never had a homeland, and it is very unlikely they will ever have one. As such, many of them have established communities wherever they find work or charitable communities. Stereotypes of Roma as thieves and criminals in recent times has decreased their chances of social integration. Communities of Roma are usually isolated ghetto-like settlements. Roma people survive under the poverty level more often than not, with minimal access to education, health care and consequently, employment. Many governments, such as those of Italy or Spain, have instead turned a blind eye to the lack of social security Roma face. Instead, many are detained or deported to a country of previous residence.

Throughout history, the Roma have had to move from country to country in order to avoid persecution. A less known fact is that more than 1 million Roma peoples were killed during the Holocaust, and many of their possessions were destroyed or taken away. Only recently has their plight been recognized by opening a Roma exhibit in the Auschwitz Holocaust Museum. Again, more information here: http://en.auschwitz.org.pl/h/index.phpoption=com_content&task=view&id=11&Itemid=3

While travelling has become a lifestyle more and more people adhere to, conflating a voluntary decision to leave behind family and friends in order to learn about new countries and cultures is nothing like the constant need of Roma people to migrate in order to earn their living. You might be a new-age nomad, but you are most definitely not a Gypsy. Claiming to lead a similar lifestyle is not only offensive to the Roma, who are forced by political and public pressure, but also to the history and persecution they faced.

The gap year – time off, time invested or time spent?

For those of us approaching graduation, or even thinking about the possibility of graduate school, the idea of a gap year will sound quite familiar. Popular in many instances, such as between highschool and undergraduate studies or between a Bachelor and Master’s degree, the gap year has quite a number of supporters, but just as many critics.

More often than not, the gap year is associated with travelling. A lot of young graduates dream of catching the first train after their convocation ceremony, others make plans to drive across the country or even the coast, while for some, the idea of a romantic getaway with their university sweetheart seems equally enchanting. Whether you are also thinking about something similar or not, here are a few thoughts on the possible benefits and drawbacks of taking a gap year before you apply to graduate school.

Benefits:

• If you know you need or want to undertake further study, but you are not sure specifically what field you are interested in, this is your time to explore and find your passion. A lot of current graduate students or alumni are very adamant in advising prospective students to be certain of what they plan to study. Graduate school is a lot more time and energy-consuming than undergraduate studies, and a lot more intellectually demanding, so being 100% committed is more important than ever.
• Learning in different ways. For at least the past 16 years ( given that you went to university straight from highschool), you have probably been learning in a certain fashion: in a classroom setting, with textbooks, tests and final exams. Whether or not this is a style that suits you, it is most certainly only one type of learning. If you wanted to pick up a skill, or a language, or learn how to interact with different cultures, cook or devote a year to a health course, this is the time to do it.
• Adding qualifications to your graduate school application. A lot of graduate programs are looking for talented, driven, and most importantly, well-rounded applicants. Work experience, volunteering or internships can increase your chances of being admitted. Especially if you are looking at a professional degree, these skills will be highly valued by your future university.
• Bring real-life experience to your studies. Regardless of your field of study, it is most likely that you will want to spend your gap year doing something related to your interests. As such, your year off can provide a focus to your future research, thesis or projects during graduate school, a lens through which you can analyze and process academic material.

What are you looking for?

As students, we are used to a particular style of learning. Very little of our process of incorporating new concepts and practices in our lifestyles is experiential, while the main focus remains academic and theoretic.

Taking oneself out of the curriculum-based, knowledge-oriented environment can lead to the impression that learning has stopped. No more nights of studying, no more coffees, no more highlighters and journal articles you care little about. You decide to travel instead, to see the world, to perhaps be one of those people with lots of Facebook pictures from South East Asia for Europe. But what does your decision really imply? And what is your motif? What are you really looking for?

Joanna Plucinska, Queen’s Politics 2012, shares her thoughts on Parisian travels:

Many young people associate traveling with a certain type of experience, whether it’s going to ‘find yourself’, or to party with foreigners that you meet in your hostel, or to explore museums and galleries. There is a prescribed set of advantages that one is expected to get from going on a trip to a given place. Your guidebook sets expectations for cleanliness, attractions, and hospitality. But, in truth, the experience of traveling for each individual, even if to the same location, may be completely different depending on a multitude of variables involved. It can be altered by your travel partners, the particular social norms you are accustomed to at the time, or the resources you have immediately available to you – ultimately, if you choose to go off the beaten track, you might discover unexpected parts of your given location.

For example, the world, and many a tourist, has fallen in love with Paris. The cafes, the architecture, the cathedrals, the museums, the fashion are glamorized in films, tv shows and books. Many tourists will choose to recreate this glamorous image in Paris by staying at a nice hotel, having saved a comfortable sum of cash for all of the French wine they plan to drink in bistros. They will indulge in coffee and patisseries in the cafes wearing red lipstick and smoking cigarettes, pretending to be truly ‘Parisienne’. It is undeniable that this side of Paris exists, but it is most definitely not the only facet of the city to explore. As a broke backpacker staying in a youth hostel in the North African quarter, you will unavoidably see a completely different side of the city. What many tourists miss is the dirty underbelly of Paris. The garment district, the North of Paris, or the banlieues are in no way the romantic ideals that one envisions when flipping through one’s guidebook. But, it is there that you might find the best kebab or random trinket. While Paris is not always sparkling and chic – rampant poverty in the immigrant neighbourhoods and rats crawling through the train stations at night are a reality to be faced – it does not mean that there is not something to learn from these parts that are not emphasized in your tour book. While Paris might seem to be a shimmering beacon of sophistication to many, it also hides a harsh, yet surprisingly fascinating reality that is uncovered to the cheap, unpretentious and curious tourist.

The point is, that it all depends on the situations you put yourself in when traveling. With a bit of aimless wandering or savvy inquiry, one may discover a side of their given destination that is completely unexpected. Just as there are multiple facets to Paris, and to most cities, there will be multiple facets to every traveller’s experience – there is no ‘proper’, uniform way to travel.

Going on exchange in South East Asia proved to highlight similar contrasts between traveling styles and goals. Depending on whether you choose to immerse yourself to the fullest on your new campus or you decide to leave campus every weekend to explore a new country, you will have highly distinct experiences. Traveling in a small compact group with close friends or in large university-organized groups will also be an important factor in dictating what you see and consequently, on how a new places will impact you.

So before you pack you bag, decide what you want to see. The glamour, the shopping and the stories you’ve heard might be far away from your travel reality. Most of the times, going on vacation and going traveling end up being two highly different things depending on mindset and budget, so setting expectations will ensure you won’t be overwhelmed or disappointed. Before anything else, ask yourself what you’re looking for.

Food time? All the time!

The memory of conflict: War Remnants Museum, Vietnam

Student budget? Travel bug?

From them same series, here’s a little something on travelling. If the plane ticket to get to your host university was expensive enough, and between all the accommodation fees, meal plan fees and other random expenses, you feel like going away was not the best idea for your bank account, travelling will become a double sword: both the exciting weekend adventure you look forward to and at the same time, the extra burden on your already limited spending capacity.

If you find yourself in a similar situation, proving to be flexible with your travel can take you a longer way. Far from glamorous but nonetheless just as thrilling, travelling on a student budget can end up teaching you a thing or two about saving money, ironically enough!

• Take public transit to the airport, ferry terminal or train station whenever you can. Even if you catch a red-eye budget flight, cabbing will end up being more expensive in most places ( except for Thailand – taxis are the best way to get around!)
• Make sure you double check the VISA requirements for every country you plan to go to. Some countries still want you to apply in advance, and urgent-processing fees will burn your budget.
• Ask for a receipt for every transaction you make. Asking for the cost of a Cambodian visa at the Phenom Penh airport got us 4 different answers: 25, 28, 30 and 33 USD.
• Exchange money at trusted locations and always ask for a receipt. If you have to exchange at a major transport station, always have an idea of what the rate should be, ask and confirm the rate before you agree to the transaction.
• Get yourself a trusty tupperwear box and a reusable water bottle. A lot of hostels serve free breakfast and have a water dispenser – a bit of extra weight but a lot less financial hassle.
• Whenever taking a taxi, make sure the meter is on! Ask how much the cost of the ride should be even before entering the car, and exit the car if the meter is not turned on.
• Do a bit of research before booking a place to sleep. Most hostels will have enough reviews on the Internet or in travel books. If you double check your references ( tour guides, online resources) you will end up with a safe yet cheap option.
• A lot of hostels and hotels will have pre-arranged tours of cities/tourist attractions for you. This is very convenient and efficient. However, you can also check out the rates of the tours offered by other accommodation facilities in the surrounding areas – a 5 minute walk to the next hotel might prove to be a lot more wallet-friendly.
• Travelling in strategic numbers can also prove to reduce your cost significantly. For example, if you travel with 3 other people, you will end up always splitting rides or fares in 4, thus minimizing the cost for everyone.
• If you are looking to buy souvenirs or local artisan products, go to a market where locals shop rather than a tourist market. You won’t believe the difference in prices!

Whatever the case, remember being frugal does not mean you can’t have fun. You’re most likely surrounded by friends and you’re in a new environment, so there is plenty to enjoy!